All posts filed under: confidence

Don’t Allow Someone’s Rejection Define You!

It’s pretty common for women who have been in an abusive relationship to continually place their worth and value outside of themselves. Part of the abuse cycle is practically begging the abuser to want you, and part of their abuse is to reject you. This is especially true if the abuser is a narcissist. I know this sounds sickening but they thrive on it and depend on your response to their neglect of your needs. It makes them feel powerful and in control. Then when you express what you need you have fallen into their trap. They can tell you how unreasonable you are, and to just be happy with what you have even though you feel neglected. Let me release you here. You are entitled to your own feelings even if no one else agrees with them. They are yours and if you feel hurt then no one can tell you that you are overreacting. You are a person of great value and your heart matters as well as how you express what is …

Be a Proverbs 31 Woman!

There is no description of a Godly woman in all of the Bible unlike the one in the book of Proverbs chapter 31. In this small portion of Scripture, God outlines for women some of the keys that create in her a successful and blessed life. Who IS this woman and how can you be one? She is active! She creates things with her hands, sells them, and buys land. With that land she plants a vineyard and it prospers in her hands to feed her family. She never eats of the bread of idleness. She is strong, and keeps on going even when things are hard. She is giving. She feeds her family and she also gives graciously to those who work for her. Obviously if she has servants, she is well off and financially secure. She provides greatly to the marriage and family. Her work is completed without hesitation. She knows her role and she does it well. She learns of God, speaks with wisdom, and is charitable to those who are less …

You Are NOT What Others Say You Are!

Doesn’t it seem like these days no matter what we do there is always someone who is unhappy about it? We’ve talked about differing opinions before. They are a dime a dozen (maybe with inflation a quarter a dozen)! We are our own self, a reflection of God’s unique creation. Even in community doesn’t it seem like we all end up morphing into people who all start to look the same from the inside out? We are supposed to be around like minded people, but not to the extent where we morph into each other. The truth is, no matter how hard one might try, we can’t become someone else no matter how much we admire that person. Sometimes we even compromise our uniqueness. We do this by people pleasing or feeling bad about ourselves when others don’t like something about us. We are a sensitive bunch, aren’t we? What about what YOU like about yourself? Even more, what about what God loves about you? I like to talk about this subject because my primary …

You Are Like a Diamond: Multi-Faceted!

Have you ever asked yourself the question, “What is my purpose in life?” You do have one. We all do! This world would never be the same without you. Your purpose is as unique as the gifts you bring to the earthly and heavenly table. Consider this though; you are multi-faceted just like a diamond! In life you have been rubbed one way and then the other. Then you have been buffed and polished! Maybe some of you are going through most of this now, but I have to say, it won’t stop in this lifetime. Each and every person on this earth not only has a purpose, but has multi-faceted gifts and capabilities. We have different interests and should love to explore them all! Let me give you an example: I have been called to be a Pastor; a shepherd of God’s people. I am also gifted to help women heal emotionally and spiritually. I can preach a message. I can do a teaching. I can pray for deliverance and do it all in …

To Thy Own Self Be True (Re selfing Yourself!)

As I pondered what I would like to give up for Lent, a very important issue came into my focus and mind. I really believe God drew this to me and I feel “we” have decided upon this one. I’m going to give up caring what other people think of my decisions and I’m going to work on “re selfing” myself. I’m no longer leaving my decisions to others but I am going to take care of them all myself, regardless to what others think. Re selfing  is a term I picked up from Author Harriet Lerner in her book “The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships.”    I highly recommend this book as a good read for you. I am sure you will find a scenario in there that reflects part of your “self”. This means taking responsibility toward self care upon myself. It’s basically where it belongs, right? No one else can provide this for me or for you who are reading. We have to provide this …

How To Develop “Thicker Skin”: Five Ways

Have you ever had someone tell you that you need thicker skin, meaning that you are too sensitive and respond to insult way too easy? If so, I totally get it! Before I continue, I want to suggest you embrace your sensitivity and all of the good things about it. If you are sensitive it means you are compassionate, empathetic, and that you care about all that brings goodness in this life. If you are too sensitive it means you can easily react out of your wounds. This is not all together a bad thing, so if this is you, don’t fret! It means that it points to where your wounds are and that can help you heal a lot. Here Comes the Story!  First, before I go further, you KNOW I have to tell a story. Yep, I have one for every message I put out there! When I was taking classes to become a medical assistant way back in the stone age, we used to use an orange to do injections on before …