All posts filed under: Abuse

Pastor Jenine Ministers on Healing from the Effects of Rape

Some things, although hard, must be said. Some things must be revealed completed to be given over to God for healing. Let me start your voice by extending to you mine. God bless you!                 Pastor Jenine Marie Howry 800-421-1765 Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries 

Narcissistic Love Bombing: Have You Been Its Target?

I suppose before I start, for those who do not know, I should explain what “love bombing” is and why it is a part of relationship abuse cycles. Love bombing is something  someone who is a narcissist, or potential abuser, does in order to hook someone into a relationship very quickly with them. They do this by pouring out love and devotion way too soon during your connection. For instance, you meet someone and within a day they are “in love with you” and know you are the one they want the rest of their life. During love bombing you will get messages all day long, phone calls, emails, texts, and all of them will have undying devotion. Statements like “I know you are the one” or “I am going to marry you some day” will come out of them far before that person even knows you very well. You will receive complements, flowers, a continual connection, and all of your time will be consumed by this narcissistic person. You will be his/her love of …

Do You Need Deliverance That Comes From High Places?

One warm summer night I had decided to go to the store and get a treat to end my long hot day. As I drove up to a parking space my attention was called to a couple in the car across from me. They were in a heated argument in the car. It was pretty intense. I could hear their words with both our windows up. Both were extremely upset and neither seemed willing to calm down. I sat quietly and observed for a few moments feeling like I was somehow intruding where I did not belong, but felt compelled to stay. Suddenly the woman broke down into tears, both got out of the car, and continued their argument in the middle of the driving area. It all came to a point where she could take no more, threw down a cup she was drinking from, and began to walk off with him following her. A moment later the car door opened once again and a little figure exited the car. It was a little …

Don’t Allow Someone’s Rejection Define You!

It’s pretty common for women who have been in an abusive relationship to continually place their worth and value outside of themselves. Part of the abuse cycle is practically begging the abuser to want you, and part of their abuse is to reject you. This is especially true if the abuser is a narcissist. I know this sounds sickening but they thrive on it and depend on your response to their neglect of your needs. It makes them feel powerful and in control. Then when you express what you need you have fallen into their trap. They can tell you how unreasonable you are, and to just be happy with what you have even though you feel neglected. Let me release you here. You are entitled to your own feelings even if no one else agrees with them. They are yours and if you feel hurt then no one can tell you that you are overreacting. You are a person of great value and your heart matters as well as how you express what is …

The Effects of Sexual Addiction in Marriage and Book Suggestion

Quite awhile ago I picked up a book written by a Christian wife named Laurie Hall. Her book is called “Affair of the Mind”.  It is about how she found out about her husband’s sexual addiction, how it effected her personally, and how she dealt with it as a woman and Christian believer. I recall I had a hard time putting this one down. I read most of it the very first night I had it. My heart went out to her as I read her words and felt like I experienced her life in a lot of ways. I had been previously married to someone who was a sexually addicted man. Believe me, it’s no walk in the park, and can feel quiet abusive to experience. Beyond the stereotypical “men will be men” comments, sexual abuse is a very serious problem in a marriage. A sex addict gets just as much of a rush from naked images and porn as a cocaine addict does using the drug. I’ve heard stories of men who have …

Learning to Live Again After Abuse: Emotional Release and Deliverance

Romans 6:4  “We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.” In days gone by I remember a morning I woke up and wondered, “How in the world did I get here, and even more important, how do I get out?” Life had come to a point where every single day was a strain being married to someone who oppressed, never had a good thing to say about me or to me, and controlled literally everything through intimidation. He was an addictive person, a narcissist, and showed sociopath tendencies. Life was hell on earth. As the years went by, I had five beautiful children, who were always the light of my life. It wasn’t easy, doing the cycle of abuse dance while making sure the kids had what they needed. (Before you ask me why I had kids with this man, please become more knowledgeable about the abuse cycle. People …

You Are NOT What Others Say You Are!

Doesn’t it seem like these days no matter what we do there is always someone who is unhappy about it? We’ve talked about differing opinions before. They are a dime a dozen (maybe with inflation a quarter a dozen)! We are our own self, a reflection of God’s unique creation. Even in community doesn’t it seem like we all end up morphing into people who all start to look the same from the inside out? We are supposed to be around like minded people, but not to the extent where we morph into each other. The truth is, no matter how hard one might try, we can’t become someone else no matter how much we admire that person. Sometimes we even compromise our uniqueness. We do this by people pleasing or feeling bad about ourselves when others don’t like something about us. We are a sensitive bunch, aren’t we? What about what YOU like about yourself? Even more, what about what God loves about you? I like to talk about this subject because my primary …