I woke up one morning after writing a blog post regarding some touchy women’s issues to private message that questioned, “Who are you talking to in that blog post”? From the
rest of the contents of the message I imagine what I posted kind of struck a nerve in her. That’s a good thing! That is what my writing is supposed to do. Yet, I can see that some of my personal writing style can cause one to either think it is them that I am publically addressing, or one might think it is myself I am speaking about.
I often relay my personal stories but the content is not always necessarily about something in my personal life. Usually I am Holy Spirit prompted to write about a certain subject, like now. Since I am not in my 20’s any more and have lived at least half of a lifetime, my subjects are concerning things I have witnessed over a fairly long period of time. I might speak of opinions, actions, personalities, or things that might be helpful to contemplate. Rarely am I ever speaking about one particular person or situation. Since I have counseled and coached a lot of women in the past, I do have a lot of insight into how women think, process, interact with one another, and issues that are dealt with in life.
The more in person way of conversing in my writing is due to an editor suggesting that I write in more of a conversational way. I think it suits me because I can feel like I am speaking right to the reader even if I do not know her.
I don’t think I ever received more of a reaction to a blog post then the one about building trust among women. I pretty much shoot from the hip when I want to get my point across and being direct is really the only way to do it. I won’t apologize for it because the subject matter is way too important and I feel it is totally healthy to express one’s opinion without fear of rejection or retaliation. By the way, I received a lot of retaliation regarding that post, including marking all of my writing on the web as “spam”. In a conversational way I have to say, “Sorry my dear, but you did not stop me if that is what you had in mind. I had no intention of personally offending anyone. Obviously I offended you without even knowing you”. We can’t please everyone and not everyone will agree with our opinions. Sometimes things have to personally happen to us in order to be empathetic to others.
Regardless, my writing is never retaliation, vindication, or any type of attempt to expose anyone’s personal indiscretions. After all, I don’t think any of us liked the wicked witch “Glinda” on the Wizard of Oz and her, “I’ll get you my pretty and your little dog too”, attitude. Nope, my written expression is for teaching, directing, and bringing awareness. Empowering others in the current world we live in sometimes has to be in the form of a direct hit of truth in order to help others see how things can offend people, disempower them, or even hurt them deeply.
Don’t we all want to stop doing that kind of stuff, at least? There is no doubt about it, if you read my writing long enough you will get the impression that I have been through a lot in my life, and you will be right in that assessment. But that is also the reason I am very good at what I am called to do. I certainly do not feel bad about that! For every one who gets upset and offended there are many on the other side who are more apt to agree with what I’ve stated. Even if there is a lack of agreement, I am usually received pretty well.
Can I counsel you for just a moment here? Please, please, speak your mind and your heart! Regardless to how it is received by others it really heals YOU when you do this! Also, keep an open mind to messages you might not at first agree with. Maybe it is worth taking another look. Also, do not automatically assume that any particular subject that comes from me has the intent to hurt you. That is NEVER my intent. My job and calling in life is to empower others. We have been disempowered enough! Unfortunately in the process of doing this the honesty has to be there. Last but not least, my job is also to empower myself. I spent far too many of my early years being shut down or shut off. One of my life lessons is that I can not please everyone. Trying to do that only causes confusion and Holy Spirit is never the author of confusion. I have to also add that when we speak of things and it is not exactly the truth, or if we don’t bring out the truth, we only cause what psychology calls “dissonance”. It’s like having the truth right in front of you but that truth is denying itself. We have come too far as women to live in denial of anything! We should be roaring on our own platform of life!
Be less offended girlfriend, and come into your own! You will see that others might not agree with you either but empowerment to speak your truth is not about agreement it is about honesty and confidence. Give it a try! Teaching one another is something we are supposed to do, so why not join the classroom?
Still Lovingly Yours,
Pastor Jenine Marie Howry